Las Vegas Day Drinking

So here’s what pisses me off: Sprint won’t answer any email inquiry in which they have “identified profanity”.  Yes, I am pissed off.  Fucking answer the email before I call and bitch out your staff.  Or better yet, don’t fuck up my billing so I’m pissed off enough to write you some identifiable profanity. 

Really Sprint?!  You can’t handle a little profanity?  And here’s the bitch of the situation.  I didn’t actually write any profanity in my message to them.  They make you ask a question to see if they have a canned answer before they’ll even let you write your actual question.  So yes, I had profanity in the first question, the one that they didn’t tell me was going to be sent to anyone.  I did not have any profanity in the question that I emailed to them directly.  But rather than sort that out, they sent me a sanctimonious email scolding me for my word choice.

So here’s what keeps me from killing someone at Sprint: Frankie’s Tiki Room. 

Hands down my favorite bar in Vegas and that goes double on Fridays when if you wear a Hawaiian shirt you get your first drink half off and let’s be honest, no one who drives to Frankie’s has any business drinking more than one of their magical concoctions.  Every time I go, I marvel at the intricately carved seats, the amazing collection of random 1970s soft Hawaiian porn and surfer movies and the multi-ingredient drinks that are full of rum and yet taste so sweet that you could drink all night and never realize how incredibly and delightfully smashed you are becoming. 

Today I sampled the Kahiki Kai, a marvelous beverage with “coconut rum, banana liquor, and pineapple juice” aka heaven on earth and the only reason I will be civil to Sprint when I re-email the, I think, overly simple question of why the fuck are you overbilling me? 

And by the way, since we’re on the subject of cell phones, can someone explain to me how the hell AT&T managed to sew up the iPhone for another two years?  Seriously?  And has anyone else noticed that for some unknown reason, you can talk perfectly fine inside the parking garage at the Palazzo, but as soon as you hit the street there, you drop the call?  It’s as if the sudden gush of fresh air was just too much for the connection.  

But enough about them.  Let’s go back to the yummy stale cigarette smell mixed with air conditioning that Frankie’s pulls off so well.  That with their super knowledgeable bartenders, and today the rehearsal dinner that was getting kicked off in style.  There were many loud whoops for Brian and Lindsay and their life together, whatever that means.  

Really, I do wish them well and I have every confidence that any couple that drinks at Frankie’s is destined for greatness.  And since Matt Lauer and his wife have denied any craziness, we can finally all go back to believing in the institution of marriage.  (I really do think that had he been caught cheating, it would have been all over- modern American marriage just couldn’t take another of the “good guys” turning out to be “evil pigs”.)  So yes, hooray marriage and life together!  But even more than that, hooray for Frankie’s! 

This picture of the Strat has absolutely nothing to do with anything, I just like it.